Not Another Scary Fic!
by Sailor Star Scream
Summary: Usagi has two fiancee's? Duo's dating Felony? Hotaru and Hiiro? Ririna get's murdered and no one cares? (Duh!) Only in my fics *Smirk*


OKAY! MY NEXT PARODY!!!! YAAAAAAAYYYYY! It actually isn't that parody-ish.   
BTW Ririna Bashing, etc. etc. etc.   
(Am I the only one whom if she becomes queen of the world, I am moving to   
another planet?? Glad to see I'm not alone!)  
Mamoru bashing, Ouka bashing, etc. etc. etc.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Ririna Peacecraft stayed at home. She sighed longingly, looking at her pictures  
of Hiiro. "He should sooo be mine." The phone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
"Ririna? It's Hiiro."  
"HII-CHAN!"  
"Goddamnit that was my ear!"  
"Oh." *Blush* "Sorry. What is it you need my love?"  
"First off don't call me any of your little endearments. Second off, stop stalking me  
and calling me phone at all hours of the day. Okay? I DON'T LIKE YOU! *Click*"  
  
Ririna felt tears coming to her face. 'No no no!'  
  
The phone rang again.   
  
"Hiiro?"  
"Are you alone in the house?"  
"Hiiro! Yes I am! Why? Do you want to come in and cuddle?"   
"No, bitch! I am not Hiiro. I am a fucking killer! YOU ARE DEAD!"  
"AHHHHH! I am the Queen of the World! I can't die!"  
"Look on your back porch."  
  
She walked to the back porch.  
  
"Turn on the light."  
  
She did. And screamed.  
  
"AHHHH YOU HAVE MICHAEL JACKSON TIED UP!!!! ...No wait, that's just Mamoru Chiba.  
Couldn't tell the difference." (Neither could we, lol.)  
  
Suddenly a crash echoed through the house. "I'm coming for you."  
  
Ririna screamed and ran away from the killer.  
  
The killer hightailed it after her and stabbed her in the heart. She was still alive!  
  
"I think fighting is wrong! See what it leads to?"  
  
The killer groaned, before chopping her head off. She was still rattling off  
about peace.   
  
"I AM GONNA BE QUEEN OF THE WORLD! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED BY THE LIKES OF YOU!"  
  
What was he to do? Throw her head in the pool.  
  
"Annoying pacifist brat . . ." The Killer muttered under it's breath.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL . . .  
  
Reporters were all over. One reporter with a braid said "This is Kenny Reeves reporting  
for Braided People News. People without braids are dying and we are getting the hell out  
of here!"  
  
Duo looked up. "Aw man! Hiiro, that's Kenny Reeves from Braided People News! I love that  
show!"  
  
Hiiro snorted. "You would."  
  
Yohji rolled his eyes. "Baka . . ." He muttered.  
  
"Oi!" Duo shouted at Yohji, "Atleast I don't have to SHARE my girlfriend!"  
  
"It was an agreement!" Yohji defended.  
  
"Love makes you do stupid shit." Wufei said. "You can't ever fall in love again, Kudou!"  
  
"Bite me Jet Li!"  
  
"Shut up! Atleast I didn't give up everything for a weak onna!"  
  
"You are really starting to make me doubt your sexuality is heterosexual." Said the calm, but amused  
German voice.  
  
Yohji looked up at Schuldich. Couldn't kill him. Why not? Because his fiancee would hate him.  
Oh, did he mention that his fiancee was Schuldich's as well? She fell in love with both of them,  
and she said she'd either have neither of them or both of them. They took the latter.  
'How the hell am I supposed to have any type of romance with Usa-chan if that German putz is always  
around? How am I supposed to have a lovelife, for that matter?'  
  
Schuldich glared at Yohji. "You aren't supposed to have a lovelife with her,   
you twit. I am. And don't call me a putz."  
  
Usagi walked up. "Hey you two." She cooed, trying to make the boiling anger in the two go down to atleast  
a small simmer. It worked.  
  
"Hey Usa-chan." They both chorused, walking with her to the entrance of the school.  
  
Hotaru walked up to Hiiro, and they walked up to the school together arms linked, chatting.  
  
Duo's girlfriend, Felony, (If you don't know who she is, read my Eternity:Draco and Usagi ficcie and you'll get a full  
description of her. I am wayyy too lazy to write it now.) walked up to him and nodded, as they started speaking. She scowled.  
  
"Oi, Usagi-sama, Duo-chan, Minna-san, did you hear the news?"  
  
"What?" Chorused the voices.  
  
"Ririna Peacecraft and Mamoru Chiba were murdered last night."  
  
"Woo! Two annoying people dead! I knew today was gonna be a good day! What does my horoscope say, Ru?"  
  
"It says obstacles will pass and something will be uncovered. Venus is in the proper alignment, and your lovelife won't be lacking  
for obvious reasons."  
  
Usagi grinned. "That is so good!" Then she stopped. "Duo no baka, did you put another note on the horoscope about my two fiancee's for  
Ru to read?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Braided baka." She muttered, before starting to walk away from her locker.  
  
She stopped, and gave Yohji a heart-stopping kiss, and pulled back with a smile. "See you second period."  
  
He nodded, and gave a triumphant smirk at all the boys watching with longing, wishing it were   
them Usagi was kissing, and he walked past them.   
  
Usagi started walking to her next class, when Schuldich grabbed her waist. "Where's mine?" He asked, an evil glint in his eyes.  
  
She gave him a look, before saying "We have all of first period to make out. You can wait thirty seconds."  
  
He pouted, so she kissed him anyways. Smile went right back to his face.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Yohji was annoyed by the end of his first period class. He would only see Usagi for barely two minutes  
because what she had meant by "See you second period" was that she'd see him during passing period.  
Her first period teacher was strict. Once, when Schuldich and Usagi had gotten too close, the teacher  
had put them on opposite sides of the room. He couldn't wait until third period. Even if he had to share  
her, he had to admit, half of her was better than none of her.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
During third period.....  
  
Usagi sat down in her seat, which was on either Yohji's or Schuldich's laps, depending on who won the coin toss.  
Today, Yohji won. Schuldich cursed.   
  
'Chikusho! You dummkopf!' Schuldich sent to him.  
  
Yohji's smirk of superiority told him he had recieved the thought.  
  
Usagi sensed what was going on, and began a make-out session with both, the battle of the laps  
was ended when she pulled them closer together and sat on both laps at the same time. The teacher  
scowled.  
  
"If you three are QUITE finished! I think what happened is why we need prayer in school. The very thing  
tears at the moral fabric of our society!" She said, while nursing her 2 month old son. "Here," She said to the  
baby. "You go to your daddy." She handed the baby to a student in the front row. "I'll see you after class." She  
said to a student.  
  
"You WILL NOT!" Usagi protested.  
  
"Usagi," The teacher said, exasperated, "I wasn't pointing at Schuldich. I was pointing at Bobby."  
  
"Oh. Gomen!"  
  
"It's alright!"  
  
Meanwhile Bobby was highfive-ing all of his friends.  
  
Usagi stared at the teacher. "Can I continue now?"  
  
"Yes yes of course, but you have to continue the correct way. You're supposed to have your shirt unbuttoned.  
Trust me," She smirked, "I'd know."  
  
Schuldich had a bigger smirk. "One step ahead of you!" He announced.  
  
"Alright, but if you go anywhere past the undergarments, you'll have to take it into the hallway! Or, the bathroom!"  
  
"Ew!" Shouted one of the cheerleaders, "Sex in the school bathrooms gives you disease!"  
  
"How would you know?" One of the goths countered.  
  
Usagi didn't care. The three continued where they left off, to be sent to the nurse's bathroom later since  
the janitor atleast cleaned there daily, and by the time he got to the other bathrooms he was too drunk.  
  
They never made it to the nurses bathroom, instead they went to the side of the school labeled "Hotel Rooms: You Figure It Out!"  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
An hour later . . . . .  
  
Usagi didn't have her fiancee's in 5th period. She pouted. Felony looked at her. "Daijoubu ka?"  
  
"Hai, daijoubu."  
  
"Demo?" Hotaru asked.  
  
"Demo . . . I wana go back to the Hotel Side!"  
  
Hotaru's eyes widened. "You, you're no longer a . . . ."  
  
"Nope!" Usagi said with a smile.  
  
Felony looked at her. "Well, which did you choose to . . . you know . . . with first?"  
  
"Anou..." Usagi turned beet red.  
  
"Dare?" Hotaru prompted.  
  
"I sorta. . . . didn't choose between them . . . so . . . "  
  
"Omigod you did it with both?"  
  
Usagi turned even more red.  
  
"At the same TIME?!?!"  
  
The clarification for this came when she turned even redder.  
  
Omi, and his boyfriend, Quatre (Couldn't resist they are so much alike! No flamies! ESPECIALLY FROM YOU IMOUTO! And Tasuki-kun: :P!)  
Both were red as well, but concerned. After all, Quatre was Usagi's cousin and Usagi loved to piss off Ouka and Dorothy by laying down   
on both of them, her head in Omi's lap, and her back, and knees (Curled up) in Quatre's. It was hilarious what they'd do, embarassing themselves  
in front of everyone. They had gotten arrested 7 times.  
  
"Daijoubu ka, cousin?" Quatre asked.  
  
Usagi nodded distractedly, her face turning a slight shade of blue.  
  
"Usagi-chan, you should breathe," Omi said. "I don't think Yohji or that jerk who calls me that horrible nickname will appreciate a dead fiancee."  
  
Usagi breathed out, the color returning to her face.  
  
"Kinky little thing, aren't you Usagi?" Teased a familiar voice.  
  
"NAAAAGIIIIIII!" She whined.  
  
"Nani?" Nagi asked, looking up from the book he was reading, since the teacher was on the phone for the umpteenth time.  
  
"Can you please use your gift and shoot Ken through the wall!!!!!!" She whined.  
  
"Oi! Just because you're kinky doesn't mean you can go off and do that!" Ken complained.  
  
"Actually Ken, because she is my fiancee, that's exactly what it means!" Yohji said, suddenly appearing from behind Usagi, and wrapping his arms  
around her waist. He kissed her cheek. "Hello Sweetheart!"  
  
"Don't you have class?"  
  
"Yes, we do have class, but Yohji and I decided to skip it."  
  
"What class is that?" Omi prompted.  
  
"'Ello, Kittykat!" Schuldich replied, seeing the boys face contort with annoyance.  
  
"What are you doing with the Weiss Kitten, my little flower?" He cooed, kissing Usagi's neck, purposefully, continuing, to give her a hickey.  
  
'What are you doing?' Yohji's angered voice hit his mind.  
  
'Marking territory. Since we're stuck together for all eternity, since we both want her for that long. Might I suggest you start doing so  
yourself, since for me it won't stop there.'  
  
Usagi scowled. "Did the teacher give you permission to leave class to kick it with me?"  
  
"No, but we wouldn't have learned much from that class anyways." Schuldich said.  
  
"Naze?"  
  
"Because we would much rather learn from you, Sweetheart, than the teacher." Yohji answered.  
  
"What class was it?"  
  
"Sex ed." Both boys answered.  
  
Usagi turned red again, and everyone was laughing.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
*Sigh* It's a parody and romance. See, my two fave guys from Weiss Kreuz get Usagi! YAY!   
Do ya like it? Lemme know, if ya wanna! *Happy smile* AND I WILL BE GETTING THE NEXT CHAPPIE  
OF "ETERNITY: DRACO AND USAGI" OUT SOON! I PROMISE! 


End file.
